They cannot be contained.
They will not be ignored.
Don’t try to cover them up
Or tuck them away.
They will find a way out.
They are professional escape artists.
Straps cannot bind them,
Nor can poorly constructed support.
They will pop them off like rubber bands.
They will force themselves upon the world.
So forget masking tape,
Might as well throw out the stapler.
They are here.
They WILL be noticed.
The Not So Fantastic Reality:
The above story was inspired by the following tidbits I encountered today:
ONE: So… yeah, I have a bit of a tumultuous relationship…with my boobs. The ‘girls’ are kind of a force to be reckoned with and to be honest, I’m never quite sure how to ‘deal’ with them. If I had my way, I’d be an unassuming ‘B’ cup, or something similarly manageable. However the powers that be saw fit to ‘bless’ me with a sizable rack at the tender age of 13 (I can still remember the day some boy in my 7th grade art class was so kind as to give them their first moniker… that I will not be disclosing here). I know, I know, “woe is me, I have large breasts, boo hoo..” but having gazongas is not all it’s cracked up to be, believe me. Take today, for instance. Taking advantage of casual Friday at work, this morning I decided to throw on a cute tank top and jeans with a sensible cardigan over top. The tank was one of those with the adjustable straps, and I guess the girls weren’t too happy about the situation so they decided to pop off one of my straps. Great, it’s 1pm and I have to waltz around for the rest of the day with a strap missing. Not having a safety pin handy, I did the next best thing… I stapled the strap back to the shirt. Good as new.