“I’m done!” Marissa yelled from the dining room.
“Already? That was fast…” Cooper thought to himself as he walked from the kitchen towards the dining room. “Marissa never does anything fast, she takes forever with even the smallest of tasks, wanting to make sure every detail is perfect,” Cooper thought as he picked up the pace, he had a sinking feeling growing in his gut. “Why was it taking him so long to get to the other side of the house?!?” he continued to wonder frantically.
Two hours ago Cooper had asked his sister to help him with a project for the school production of Grease II that he was getting behind on and she had eagerly agreed. All he needed her to do was cut out a bunch of pictures that Cooper would later make into a collage. The stack he had given his sis should have taken Marissa at least half the night knowing how careful she would be removing every bit of white space and making sure all the edges were perfectly straight. The fact that Marissa had completed the task in a mere two hours, the time it would take a normal non-OCD person, was unsettling.
Upon entering the dining room, Cooper almost screamed. The scene before him read like some sort of hokey horror film only instead of blood and guts there were mangled pictures, some cut down to the size of confetti; instead of a terrifying monster, only his sister- who now appeared asleep, lying atop a pile of haphazardly cut pictures, her weapon- a pink pair of scissors, still clutched in her hand.
“Marissa, what the hell?!?” Cooper screamed, unable to contain his horror a minute longer.
Startled by her brother’s outburst, Marissa woke with a start and looked around with bleary eyes, a picture of dissected motorcycle stuck to the side of her face. Taking a closer look, Cooper moved closer and then gasped for a second time.
“Marissa… are you… are you drunk?” Cooper leaned in closer still.
“What? Me, drunk? Don’t… hiccup… don’t be silly, hiccup,” Marissa tried to give Cooper playful shove but misjudged the distance and almost toppled over had Cooper not intervened.
“Oh my God, Marissa, you are drunk!” Cooper said as he helped Marissa into a chair.
At that moment, the siblings’ mother entered the dining room dressed as if for an event and looking very frazzle, “Hey kids, you haven’t seen a big silver plate with my homemade rum balls, have you? I’m running late for the Richardson’s party and I can’t find them anywhere.”
Cooper’s eyes grew wide as he made the connection of the missing rum balls and his 15-year-old sister’s current state of inebriation. Sliding in front of his sister to block her from their mother’s view, Cooper made an obligatory scan of the room for the ‘missing’ rum balls and told his mother he had not seen them (which wasn’t really a lie, since he hadn’t actually seen them).
“Well shoot, I went to all that trouble… I swear, if I didn’t have my head firmly attached then I’d lose that too… oh well, guess I’ll just have to pick up some egg salad from the store on the way,” and with that she disappeared from the room, shouting a goodbye as she exited the house through the front door.
Heaving a sigh of relief, Cooper returned his attention to his drunk sister, who was now, thankfully, passed out in the chair. Looking at the table littered with the remains of his pictures, Cooper began shifting them around and eventually found the missing silver plate… but no rum balls. All that was left were 30 discarded toothpicks.
The Not So Fantastic Reality:
The above story was inspired by the following tidbits I encountered today:
ONE: As she was leaving for the day, one of my students stopped by and kindly offered me a homemade rum ball. Not sure what the occasion was, but that detail didn’t seem important and I graciously accepted. That was four and a half hours ago and I may still be drunk. Ok, not really, but man, those suckers packed a punch.
TWO: Tomorrow marks the first day of ‘production’ for Andy on this latest film he’s working on and I’ve been trying to chip in and help wherever I can. Today, that mean cutting about 100 pictures out in order to make a collage for one of the sets they are dressing. Cutting a straight line has never been my forte (don’t even get me started on coloring in a straight line!) but I think I managed pretty well, and other than a crick in my neck and a stiff ‘cutting’ hand I made it through.
Love & Squirrels.