Announcer: Welcome back everybody to the hit game show, What Is That?!? The game where your senses are put to the test for cash and prizes! Before the break, we left our contestant, Bill, right before he entered our Sensory Booth…
Host: Okay Bill, it’s time once again to enter the What Is That?!? Sensory Booth to see if you can determine our next clue for your chance to win that trip for two to Historic Charleston, SC. Now, what will it be Bill- will you use your sense of sight, your sense of smell, your sense of touch, sense of taste or your sense of hearing to determine what the clue is?
Host indicates a board of the five senses and gestures for Bill to choose one.
Contestant One (Bill): It’s a tough decision, but I think I’m going to go with TOUCH.
Bill removes the Velcro picture of the hand from the board and hands it to the host.
Host: Okay Bill, you’ve chosen ‘TOUCH’. Please enter the Sensory Booth for your clue.
Bill is blindfolded, his nose is plugged and soundproof headphones are placed on his ears. Bill is then led into the Sensory Booth. Once inside, Bill places both hands on top of a flat surface in front on him and waits for instructions. From speakers wired into his headphones he hears the host…
Host: Bill we are putting 30 seconds on the clock. When the timer starts the top of the box your hands are on will be removed and you will need to determine its contents using only your sense of touch. Give us the ‘thumbs up’ if you understand.
Bill gives two enthusiastic ‘thumbs up’.
Host: Okay, start the clock!
The digital timer begins to countdown from 30 seconds as the top of the box in the Sensory Booth slides away and Bill begins to frantically feel around for the contents.
Contestant One (Bill): Okay, it feels cold… and tube like, hmmm… what the heck is this…
Host: Fifteen seconds!
Contestant One (Bill): Crap… okay, think Bill, think… its small, long, almost like a huge roll of quarters…
Studio Audience: Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! Six!…
Contestant One (Bill): What the heck could this be?!?
Studio Audience: Three! Two! One!!!
Host: Okay Bill! Time’s up. What is your guess?
Bill is seen hesitating for a second inside the Sensory Booth…
Contestant One (Bill): Is it a garden hose?
Host: Sensory Booth is the clue a ‘garden hose’?
A loud buzzer goes off in the studio, indicating the guess was incorrect.
Host: Oh, I’m sorry Bill… looks like ‘garden hose’ was incorrect. Go ahead and remove the blindfold and headphones, oh and the nose plug and let’s take a look to see what the correct answer was.
Bill removes the blindfold, headphones and nose plug and the Sensory Booth is suddenly filled with light. Bill takes a step towards the box with the clue.
Host: What do you see, Bill?
Bill peers into the box and instantly leaps back in surprise.
Contestant One (Bill): Oh my God! It’s a snake! Was I just touching a snake! Holy cow!
Host: Give Bill a hand, folks!
Studio audience enthusiastically applauds as Bill is led from the Sensory Booth and off stage. The Host calls out after him…
Host: Oh and Bill? Feel free to keep the nose plug as a parting gift.
Audience bursts into laughter as Bill gives a sheepish grin and waves.
Host: Well, Bill tried his luck in the Sensory Booth, now it’s Contestant #2’s chance! Susan Miles come on up!
A petite woman in her early thirties skips up to the stage, obviously thrilled at being selected. Once on stage Susan can’t seem to stand still and kind of hops around as the host explains the rules of the game. Susan selects HEARING as her sense and after being blindfolded and a nose plug secured in her nose, Susan is led into the darkened Sensory Booth.
Host: Okay Susan, thirty seconds on the clock. Here’s your clue…
A sound like screeching tires combined with a cat howling fills the Sensory Booth and studio.
Contestant Two (Susan): Oh holy smokes, that was scary, wasn’t it? Ha, ha… Okay, down to brass tacks, I feel like I’ve heard that before but just can’t place it, wouldn’t ya know…
Studio Audience: Four! Three! Two! One!
Host: That’s it, Susan! What is your guess?
Contestant Two (Susan): Well, that was a tough one. Was it… a velociraptor?
Host: Sensory Booth, is the clue a… velociraptor?
A loud buzzer goes off in the studio, indicating the guess was incorrect. The audience sighs, disappointed.
Host: I’m sorry, Susan it is not a velociraptor. Take all that stuff off and if you’ll join me back on the stage we will see what the correct answer is, shall we?
Susan removes the blindfold and nose plug and steps out of the Sensory Booth and joins the host on the stage.
Host: Take a look at that monitor, there, and we’ll see what made that noise.
Susan and the host stare up at a large television screen where a scene showing the interior of a restaurant where four adults and several small children are seated at a large table. The adults are talking while the children are playing and running around the table. Suddenly, two of them grow overly excited and begin screaming.
Host: Looks like what you mistook as velocirpators was just children screaming. Hope you’re not planning one having kids any time soon, Susan! Right folks?
Contestant Two (Susan): Actually, I have four at home.
Host: Well! That’s all the time we have today, everyone. I’d like to thank our wonderful contestants for being such good sports and of course our sponsors for the fantastic prizes. We’ll see you next time on What Is That?!? Good night!
The Not So Fantastic Reality:
The above story was inspired by the following tidbits I encountered today:
ONE: We had several cases of ‘mistaken identity’ today. First, was the incident with the snake. Joey, my fearless mini dachshund was locked in an epic battle today, with what Andy first thought was a rattlesnake in our backyard. Obviously, this freaked Andy out and he attempted to scare Joey away from the thing but Joey was having none of it. Finally, Joey listened and retreated but not before the snake struck and landed a bite somewhere on Joey’s rear end. Talk about panic, I thought joey was a goner and I frantically searched for puncture wounds while Andy combed the back yard for the snake. Thankfully, it was just a garter snake and it didn’t look like it even broke Joey’s skin (he’s tough) so crisis averted. Andy drove the snake a few miles away and released it into an unpopulated area in the woods. The second mix-up came as we were sitting down to lunch on the patio of local fish taco joint. Out of nowhere we heard this ear splitting screech, followed by a few more that convinced us both we had just heard a baby velociraptor. Turns out it was just a bunch of kids doing kid stuff at a table behind us.
Love & Squirrels.