“Listen Frank, the bats are having a tea party. Can you hear them? Oh! And they have just invited Little Debbie to join them, how exquisite!”
Reggie danced around the living room of his one-bedroom apartment in disjointed and erratic movements. Frank had suspected Reggie wasn’t quite himself when they spoke earlier on the phone, but the scene he walked into was something he hadn’t prepared for. The furniture in the living space was mostly hidden beneath what appeared to be every pillow and blanket Reggie owned. It looked like a haphazard attempt at a fort that’s concept had been abandoned half-way through. In the kitchen, all of the cabinet doors were open, and it looked as if Reggie had designed a sort of mobile out of much of the dishware and all of the spoons.
“I’ve finished my butterfly and now I’m fashioning the leaves. What do you think?” Reggie pranced past Frank and actually wiggled his butt as he went by- an act that was so out-of-character it shocked Frank much more than any of the other craziness surrounding him.
“What the hell is going on here?!?” Frank thought to himself as he watched his friend try to paint the walls with a toothbrush and green mouthwash. Frank thought back to the last time he had seen Reggie. It had been two weeks ago at the bar. As usual on Fridays, they had met up after work to grab a few drinks and let off some steam. Now that he thought about it, Reggie had mentioned something about feeling a little under the weather but Frank hadn’t thought much of it. But then Reggie hadn’t shown up last Friday for their drink and when he had missed their unofficial meet-up without so much as a text, Frank grew a little worried and decided to check in on his friend- and had discovered the Wonderland-on-a-budget scene that had replaced what was usually a nondescript bachelor pad.
From the looks of it, Reggie had been holed up in this dump for that entire time. “Hey Tinkerbelle! How long since you left Neverland?” Reggie shouted over to where Frank was using a chopstick as a sewing needle and sat on the kitchen floor mending the colander.
“Two weeks, buddy! Ha ha ha! Two weeks! Came down with a nasty bug and the doc said I had to stay holed up until the meds ran out. It’s sad though, they are so pretty, I hate eating them… green and purple, and sometimes I let them melt on my tongue and then look at how the colors melt together before I swallow it. Want a coconut?” Reggie asked with all earnestness.
“Nah buddy, I’m good, thanks…” Frank threw his whacked-out friend a smile before turning his back and pulling out his cell phone. After dialing a few numbers he brought the phone to his ear and in another moment said into the receiver, “Yeah, I’m going to need an ambulance over at 1001 Green Top Boulevard, apartment 5B…”
The Not So Fantastic Reality:
The above story was inspired by the following tidbits I encountered today:
ONE: Being sick, I’ve been holed up in my house for the last two days and I’m going a bit stir crazy. I don’t feel well enough to really do anything productive so I’m forced to kind of just lay here and pass the time with my cross stitch, snoring dog and Hulu queue. I did manage to leave the house for a short trip to Office Depot and Big Lots, but that was pretty much the highlight of my day. So, I thought about what it would be like to literally never leave the house for a longer span of time… I don’t think I would handle it very well.
TWO: Much of the craziness demonstrated by Reggie was inspired by things I encountered today**, including:
- A TV show about makeup artists who had to design an alien that looked like a bat
- Another TV show where they were making an epic blanket and pillow fort
- I’m cross stitching a design with a bird, butterfly and leaves on it… working on the branches today
- I bought coconut M&M’s today. They are delicious.
**I told you, I didn’t get out much today.
Love & Squirrels.