Since I decided to take a snoozefest on the couch for the night, and it is 10 mins to the bewitching hour, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to post for me tonight. I am going to find this post in the morning, and probably throw a fit, and yell at him for being stupid, but hey, I gave him permission to use my computer while I went to sleep, so alls fair right?
Today started out just like any other day, except on this day, unlike all the others something very strange and wonderous was about to happen. Over on Mulberry Street, Paco was celebrating his 6th birthday party and all the neighborhood kids were invited. There was a pin-the-tail on the donkey, a ring toss, a mini pony ride, even a bounce house for those 35lbs and lighter. (a.k.a. no parents). But the real star of the show was….
hang on, Sam is stirring….
okay, she’s back asleep…
The real star of the show was this huge firetruck shapped pinata, which was a smash hit, (see what I did there?). Everyone was huddled around it in wonder of what goodies this massive Great Dane-sized pinata held. Nobody was quite sure who brought it to the party in all the hustle and bustle, but next thing you know, kids were lined up taking swings at it with Paco’s mother’s good broomstick. They found an old silk tie to use as a blindfold, and were making complete fools of themselves and having a fabulous time doing it. The trick was to spin around 5 times blindfolded, then take swings in the direction of the cheering crowd’s coaching. Of course most of the children missed it, but soon Billy, the red haired, snot-faced bully, took a swing and cracked off the tail end.
Green goo slowly leaked out of it, and everyone took a step back as they tried to figure out if this old pinata was dangerous or not. Johnny took a finger or two of the liquid and determined it tasted like his mother’s sugar free ectoplasm Kool-Aid and everyone was put back at ease trying in vain to break it open again.
Johnny ran off to the little mens room, as nature happens to call at those times when you digest unknown green goo, and of course he started to change into…..
back to sleeep sam…. back to sleep….
Where was I, oh yeah, the pinata, Paco’s older sister, the one everyone thought was just oh so pretty, but stuck up like a wad of gum under a lecture hall desk, was up to bat, she refused to spin and half refused to put the tie blindfold on sayaing she was allergic to silk, and since everyone was desperate to get in side the pinata, they let her take a swing at it, BAM! The pinata burst open, covering all the kids in the goo, who proceeded to lick it off themselves like a cat cleaning its… well you know… just as Johnny burst out of the bathroom with blood dribbling out of his mouth, and a third eyeball growing on his forhead……
The Not So Fantastic Reality:
The above story was inspired by the following tidbits Andy encountered today:
ONE: Today Andy had the pleasure of hanging out with a 7 year old with a vivid imagination, and a lust for ‘B’ rated horror cinema. We got on the topic of how lame most zombie movies are, and how we would like to see a zombie outbreak come from something other than an infected spider, or monkey or bug or other creepy crawly thing, and we wondered how a movie would fair if the zombie attack came from something nice like a unicorn, or a helium balloon, which is when Andy, who is always for some strange reason on a pinyata kick, decided it should come from the inner guts of a pinyata at a kids birthday party. Hence, the above story. and hey, I got this one in before midnight!
Sam will fix the spelling tomorrow I think… or she will erase this and write her own story. Whatever.
Edited by Sam (a little)… who admittedly fell asleep last night and failed to post her own story and will humbly concede to her boyfriend’s creativity and sneakiness, if just this one time.