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Daily Archives: February 17, 2012

Day #304: But What I Felt Like Saying Was…

The Story:

“Eww dude… you are totally creeping me out. That kind of talk is really inappropriate and to be honest, I’m relieved I’ll never have to see your smarmy face again.”

“Ma’am, crying is not going to change anything, so cut it out… you’re making me super uncomfortable.”

“I’d like to call it a day… yes, I know it’s only 10:o0 but dealing with people is just not working out for me today.”

“I’d like to have a plate of white sauce… with a side of white sauce. And a Fanta Strawberry to drink.”

“Facebook, you are really starting to get boring.”

“Does it count as cutting coupons if I just carry the entire mailer with me everywhere? That just seems like less work.”

“I’d invite you in, but my house is a total wreck and I’m way too lazy to clean just so you can use the bathroom. There is a Starbucks right around the corner though.”

“Some days I’m glad I’m a little on the chunky side… I feel like I’m much more approachable with a few extra pounds softening the blow of how attractive I am.”

“Please don’t ask me any hard questions today, I’d rather not think.”

“Unpleasantness really annoys me.”

“I secretly want to ‘pin’ every wedding cake I see on PINTEREST.”

“Having bangs really comes in handy when you’ve got a monster zit sprouting on your forehead.”

“That nap really took it out of me. I think I may need another one.”

“I feel like I’m living dangerously every time I have to sneeze while driving. What a thrill.”


The Not So Fantastic Reality:

The above story was inspired by the following tidbits I encountered today:

ONE:      Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have no buffer for your internal monologue? If you just said every weird, wacko, inappropriate thing that skitted across your brain? Having a bit of a faulty filter mechanism and a very overactive imagination, I have had a few occasions where I didn’t have to wonder… I found out first hand why God gave us the ability to shift through our thoughts before making them known. Above, you will find several ‘internal monologue’ thoughts from yours truly in reaction to some of the events that took place today (and not all of them are actually things I thought today, I created a few of those for sheer entertainment value… mostly my own). For example, joining my friends Jax and Jessica at a hibachi/sushi place for lunch today, when the girl taking my order asked me what I would like, I was strongly tempted to blurt out, “I’d just like a plate of the white sauce please” but better judgment won out and I ordered the sushi lunch special (which I then dunked in a pool of white sauce). If you’re curious about any of the other ‘thoughts’ let me know…I may be inclined to share.

Oh Ryan... if you only knew.

Love & Squirrels.