She sneaks around in dark alleyways and bums cigarettes from strangers.
She never wears her seatbelt and thinks airbags are for sissies.
Taxes? Phfft… paying taxes is for suckers.
Her favorite foods are tomatoes, tuna fish straight from the can and anything with banana flavoring.
She tosses anything homemade; gifts that aren’t bought from a store are just a cheap person’s way of copping out.
She can’t make a cheesecake to save her life… not that she would want to.
She’s definitely a cat person.
Gifted with numbers, she can do basic algebra in her head and rarely relies on a calculator.
She hates books and thinks the written word is on its way out… good riddance.
She’s an avid runner and will take any opportunity to show off her washboard abs.
She only needs about three hours of sleep to function and feels ‘off’ if she gets any more than six.
In her spare time she prefers to do yoga, pre-plan her meals for the upcoming week and weed her front lawn.
She became addicted to coffee when she was ten and requires at least three cups throughout the day.
She sports a glowing tan year-round.
Dubstep is her life.
She loves having her picture taken and being the center of attention.
She has a beautiful singing voice.
The Not So Fantastic Reality:
The above story was inspired by the following tidbits I encountered today:
ONE: Ever get called by the wrong name and forget to correct the person who made the mistake, choosing instead to just go with it? Hi, my name is apparently Pam. Or, at least it was to the guy taking my order over the phone at our favorite pizza place. As soon as he confirmed my order (which he also got wrong) I knew he had misheard the name I provided for the order- it wouldn’t be the first time I’d been mistaken for a Pam. The experience got me thinking that maybe Pam was just my alter ego- someone with the exact opposite taste and preferences as me. Since I hate tomatoes and coffee, Pam LOVES tomatoes and can’t live without her java. I detest having my picture taken (thanks to my awkward smiles, and ‘what do I do with my hands?’ poses) but Pam, well Pam loves hamming it up for anyone with a camera. You get the drift. So reread the list above and you’ll have a clearer idea of who I am… by who I’m not.
TWO: Had my first exposure to dubstep today, thanks to le boyfriend who was blasting it from my poor little Honda Civic speakers when he can to pick me up from work today. Let’s just say, I’m not a fan (it’s god awful).
Love & Squirrels.