“I swear, this is the best remedy yet. Just trust me, you’ll forget you are even sick,” Didi took the scrap of paper her friend Jen had just scribbled on and read it. Raising an eyebrow, she looked up- a question dangling from her lips when Jen stopped her with a raised hand. “I know what you’re going to say,” Jen continued, “but just try it and if you don’t feel better in a day, then you can come find me and kick my butt, deal?”
Didi nodded her agreement and took another look at the list of instructions scribbled on the discarded coffee sleeve. “Ok, well I gotta run, but you follow those instructions and then I’ll give you a call tomorrow to see how you’re doin, ok?” Jen grabbed her purse and gave Didi’s shoulder a little squeeze before leaving the coffee shop. Arriving home twenty minutes later, Didi made her way to the couch, shedding her clothes as she went and crawled beneath her grandmother’s quilt. God, she hated being sick and it always happened when it was least convenient- like on her few days off. Nothing to do now but take it easy and try and sleep away the cold.
After twenty minutes of tossing and turning and feeling utterly miserable, Didi gave up on trying to nap and thought about Jen’s ‘instructions’. Dragging herself off of the couch, Didi wandered over to where she deposited her purse on the kitchen counter and searched through it for the coffee sleeve. Finding it finally, Didi began to read:
“To get over a cold in no time, do all of the following in the order then are listed here:
- Clean your baseboards throughout the house
- Hang new pictures in your hallway
- Tidy up your guest room
- Put new sheets on your bed
- Eat two pieces of toast with jam
- Take a long, hot shower
- Go to Kobe’s Steakhouse for dinner
- Mop the kitchen floor
This works, I swear! Feel better, Didi!”
“Well, it’s worth a try,” Didi thought to herself, “I can’t possibly feel any worse”.
The following day, Didi dialed up her friend Jen, excited to confirm that she was feeling a good deal better, thanks to her advice. “See, I told you! It’s a miracle worker!” Jen squealed, delighted her friend was feeling better.
“Tell me though, how did you discover this remedy?” Didi finally asked as they were about to hang up the phone.
“It’s something my mother passed on to me. She said that washing the baseboards helps with the drainage, kneeling over and all that, then as you stand to hang up your pictures it will fall right out of your nose. By tidying up your guestroom, you mentally are reassured that should you need someone to come take care of you, their room is prepared. Eating two pieces of toast and jam, well, I think my mom just liked jam or maybe it had to do with the vitiamin C, who knows. Taking a long hot shower helps with the aches and pains, and opens up your sinuses. Then a large dinner with a lot of distraction and tons of birthdays reminds you of the fun of life, and keeps you from fixating on your own problems and feeling ill. And finally, mopping the kitchen floor is just good housekeeping, she always said. Plus it tires you out for a good night’s sleep,” Jen concluded, with a chuckle.
The Not So Fantastic Reality:
The above story was inspired by the following tidbits I encountered today:
ONE: Still sick… kinda hoped I would wake up good as new, oh well. I didn’t really have time to dwell on feeling like death warmed over however, as we were expecting company, Andy’s sister, mom, and his mom’s boyfriend Casey were all coming over before the group of us headed out for dinner to celebrate the holidays and Casey’s birthday. So the afternoon was spent gussying up the place, cleaning, mopping, vacuuming the whole shebang. It actually worked out though, cause it didn’t give me any time to lay around and feel sorry for myself. Plus, I got to have an awesome dinner with some awesome people at THE birthday place, Kobe’s Steakhouse. Good day… now to get over this cold.
Love & Squirrels.