Ava scampered across the room, hurdling laundry baskets and her curious beagle, George and dashed into the kitchen where the timer was beeping angrily. Grabbing a dish towel (hunting down a pot holder would waste precious seconds her lemon squares did not have) Ava flung open the oven door and yanked her confection unceremoniously out. “Thank goodness,” she breathed in relief, pleased her lemon squares were not burnt to a crisp and actually looked quite edible. “I’ve really got to kick this Pinterest habit or I’m liable to burn down the house,” she thought to herself knowing full-well she had no intention of quitting her newest web-based addiction. Placing the baking dish on the countertop, Ava went to her pantry in search of powdered sugar to garnish her lemon squares. Not wishing to trouble herself with a sifter, Ava tilted the bag over the lemon bars and shook it gingerly.
Annoyed at the walnut-sized ball of powdered sugar that landed smack dab in the middle of the dish, Ava leaned over and blew- instantly causing a cloud of sugar to engulf her entire face and the surrounding countertop. Laughing at herself, Ava drew lines in the sugar covering the countertop with her finger before she returned to her laptop- for a few more minutes of ‘pinning’ on Pinterest.
Four hours later, Ava was startled by her doorbell ringing. Checking her watch in confusion, “who on earth would be calling on her at this time in the morning?” she thought before the reality of the time of day hit her. It was 1:00pm! Ava had been ‘pinning’ all morning, not even stopping to shower or change out of her tattered t-shirt and uber-baggy sweatpants. And now, her mother was at her door, ready for their annual Christmas shopping excursion. Opening the door to her always-immaculately dressed mother, Ava immediately felt a little embarrassed about her own appearance and the disheveled state of her apartment. Once her mom was inside, Ava quickly ran to her bedroom to throw on some clothes, shouting an apology from the hall before her mother could say a word.
Reappearing some five minutes later, Ava called to her mom, “Ok mom, sorry about that. I’ve got this new addiction, you see, and I haven’t been able to get anything done since I’ve been on it. So, you ready to-“ the look of obvious concern on her mother’s face stopped Ava in her tracks. “What?” she asked as she came to stand across from her mom.
Looking around, as if hoping for someone to step from the shadows so she wouldn’t be required to do the heavy lifting for what she was about to say, Ava’s mother finally locked eyes with her youngest child and said, “Honey, we can get you help. Just, pack a bag and I can find you a place that can help you recover. You know I only want the best for you, I love you”.
Completely taken aback by her mother’s very serious statement, Ava cocked a brow and trying to remain calm asked what on earth she was talking about.
“Oh sweetie. You’re in deeper than I thought,” her mother almost wept.
“Mom. In simple words, please tell me what the hell you are talking about,” Ava was beginning to panic, what if her mother was experiencing a stroke or something?
“Ava, you have a cocaine problem, no, don’t try and deny it. You said it yourself as you were cleaning up- although you missed that bit under your nose. And then, to see it all over your countertop! I can’t imagine where you got it, but that’s not important. What’s important is that we get you the help you need,” her mother replied as stoutly as she could.
Rushing to the hallway mirror, Ava leaned in and sure enough, a smudge of white powder was quite obviously smeared under her nose. Letting out a yelp of laughter, Ava walked back to her mother and gave her a reassuring hug. Then without a word, walked to the fridge and producing her lemon squares held them up for her mother’s inspection before blowing some of the powdered sugar off the top. “Mom, I don’t have a drug problem. I was baking this morning and some of the sugar must have gotten on my face. And the addition I was referring to was a website, called Pinterest, not cocaine!”
“Oh, thank my stars!” her mother burst out in a rush of relief, “after that one instance with your father and those Mexican gentlemen in the 70’s I don’t think I could have taken another drug-related episode!”
Ava was doubled over laughing at the idea that her mother thought she was a cokehead before the last statement struck her, “Wait… what?”
The Not So Fantastic Reality:
The above story was inspired by the following tidbits I encountered today:
ONE: Like I need one more distraction- I have found and fallen in love with Pinterest a site where you can bookmark just about anything you happen to like on the vast interwebs- mostly for crafting and cooking though. I signed up a few months ago, but never really got into it (admittedly, because I didn’t really understand what it was). Today I decided to give it another go, and after getting the gist (amazing where a little reading will get ya!) I am officially hooked. Let’s just say I actively pinned about six times, just in the hour it took me to write this story. I have a problem.
TWO: I made ooey gooey lemon squares today. And in the words of the Publix bagger who helped me to my car the other day, “Isn’t lemon just the best?”. Yes, Publix bagger, yes it is. After pulling this pan of yellowy goodness out of the oven and letting them cool a bit, I thought I’d make them super fancy and sprinkle some powdered sugar on top. Grabbing the bag, I thought about finding my sifter and then abandonded the idea, chalking it up to being too labor intensive (yes, I am that lazy). So, instead I just up-ended the bag and prayed for perfection…. Haha. What I got, is what you would expect- a bunch of clumps of superfine sugar sporadically plopped all over the thing. Easy fix, I thought leaning over to give the stuff a healthy blow to spread it out a bit. Note to self- no baking before 11am. It’s just safer that way.
Love & Squirrels.