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Day #210: Cord-Cutting

The Story:

Helicopter parenting… to the EXTREME!!!

HP Banking…

“I was hoping to talk to a manager regarding several fees charged to a checking account with your bank… for my 30-year-old son.”

HP alarm clock…

“Good morning, sleepyhead! It’s time to get up! Time to start another day as mommy’s bestest account executive!”

Making lunch like an HP…

“Oh honey, just stopped by your office (your boss is a super cutie patootie, by the by) and put a nice sack lunch in the office fridge for you. Call me back!”

Microsoft Office Excel like an HP…

“Jellybean, it’s your father.  I took a run at those figures for your presentation tomorrow and made a few minor adjustments to your original spreadsheets. I know your boss didn’t like your proposal last time, so just wanted to make sure you got your due credit this go around. Happy to help!”

Workout like an HP…

Is this Dave the personal trainer? Yeah, well I would like to complain about your services and some disparaging remarks you made…me? No, I’m not a client, my daughter is and I don’t appreciate your pushing her so hard. I’m sure she does her best and you should encourage her with positivity and nurturing. That’s what she responds to, I should know, I’m her mother.”

Negotiate a job offer like an HP…

“Scott it’s your mom. I couldn’t believe what you told me about the nondisclosure contract they wanted you to sign as part of your hiring package. So, I called the company and after speaking to a very lovely woman by the name of Frieda I was patched through to the executive director, I believe you met him in your interview, and kindly turned down their offer for you. Don’t worry, you can thank me when we go get our mother/son pedicures next Tuesday. Love you!

Dating like an HP…

“So what do you think you can offer my son? What makes you different from all the other girls? Oh don’t be shy, I’m just taking a few quick notes.”


The Not So Fantastic Reality:

The above story was inspired by the following tidbits I encountered today:

ONE:      OK, before I go on another rant (sorry Facebook friends) I’ll make this disclaimer: I am not a parent and have no idea what crap you must go through on behalf of your child and the desire to ensure their happiness. I don’t want to take anything away from the awesome job parents do every day without so much as a thank you from their kids (or society, for rearing a generation that will take care of us all in a few short years). Now, on to the rant! Helicopter parents… perhaps one of my biggest pet peeves. For those of you unfamiliar with helicopter parents, they are a special breed of parents that anyone in the education system is keenly aware of (and reflexively cringe when approached by one). These are the very well-intentioned folks who just can’t seem to cut the cord and send junior or juniorette on their merry way. They constantly hover over their child in an attempt to guarantee their spawn does not for one instant encounter anything unpleasant. As an advisor for a graduate program at a large university, I encounter these lovely (ahem) people usually on a weekly basis and try my darndest to express my preference to speak directly to their precious child about the degree, they may or may not want to pursue, or… I ignore them. Perhaps not the most professional route, but believe me it’s better than losing it on some unsuspecting mama bear because she happened to be the fifth parent to call for her child in one day. I get it, they love their kids and they just want to help them make the best decisions for their future. Fine. But guess what? You’re stunting their growth. You’re actively preventing them from developing necessary social and problem-solving skills so that by the time they reach me untethered, they have no idea how to proceed. Without mom or dad there to guide the conversation or ask the questions, I have had more than a few students come to my office in search of advising and after a short introduction, which usually sounds like, “Yeah, uh… I think I want to uh, like be a physical therapist or something,” they simply stare at me blankly, assuming this explanation is enough to crack open the wealth of information I have carefully tucked behind my ears. Yowzer. I don’t know if it’s because I’m getting older, because I’m swamped with about a million things to do at work or what (advising is only one part of my daily responsibilities), but my patience is growing thinner and thinner. I wondered, what if this type of parenting went beyond the walls of the universities and colleges where their children attended, but followed them into other adult lives. Sadly, I don’t think some of these scenarios are too far removed from reality.

Love & Squirrels.


About samshine20

Writing a fictious story based on my day's events... every day. Apparently this is how I celebrate turning 30. That's me! ...just a girl with dream. And a blog.

One response »

  1. can you imagine me telling you or your brother what you can and cannot do now, hell it was tough enough when you were kids, but I think letting you make decisions for your self when you were young helps you now make well educated decisions, for the most part, now.


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