“Stuffed in here like sardines”
“About as successful as making caramels in the Florida summer”
“As stubborn as day-old pasta sauce”
“Here, let me help you pat yourself on the back”
“Nothing a pint of Ben & Jerry’s and a spoon can’t cure”
“Now that’s one spicy chick!”
“As cute as a baby carrot!”
“You know what they say about a clean house… mother must be in town”
“All dressed up and nowhere to go”
The Not So Fantastic Reality:
The above story was inspired by the following tidbits I encountered today:
ONE: Ever catch yourself narrating your own life? I do it quite often (yeah, I totally talk to myself too). Today the narration deviated from its normal rhetoric and chopped up my day into pocket-sized expressions (most of which I made up, although some are borrowed). I feel it gives a bit of a sparkle to an otherwise boring and tedious day in adulthood. So I decided to list a few of my saying above and will attempt to explain them a bit:
“Stuffed in here like sardines” = I attended, along with the rest of my college (so about 100+ people) a two-hour meeting. This alone would not be significant except the chairs were all placed very tightly together with no center aisle. Just about every seat was taken and we all felt as if we had boarded a plane due to the lack of arm and leg room. I’m actually going to be a little sore tomorrow from hunching in order to minimize contact with the two people sitting next to me (I really don’t like to be touched).
“About as successful as making caramels in the Florida summer” = I attempted (and failed) to make my first batch of homemade caramels today. Everything was going fine, until it wasn’t. Then the bottom burnt, the sticky goo boiled out of the pot and scaled my hand and I seriously doubt the gelatinous confection will ever harden to its proper consistency thanks in part to the loverly Florida humidity (yes, it was about 80 degrees when I was slaving away at the stove).
“As stubborn as day-old pasta sauce” = As if making caramels were not enough of a challenge, I decided to do the dishes too. I know, I’m outta control!! Spaghetti sauce, you’ve met your match.
“Here, let me help you pat yourself on the back” = The aforementioned meeting today was a whole lot of “look how great we are! Our program, department, college rocks! Let’s talk about it for two hours! YEAH!!!” Holy cow… I mean I’m proud to be a part of such a great college and surrounded by so many acclaimed faculty and staff, but sheesh… couldn’t we just have gotten a newsletter or something? (man, I’m antisocial, hehe)
“Nothing a pint of Ben & Jerry’s and a spoon can’t cure” = We have a hard and fast rule in this house- ice cream is not a luxury, it’s a necessity. Today, I was pining for a pint and luckily, my awesome boyfriend bought me the new flavor I’ve been wanting to try- Red Velvet Cake. Um… nn;;lkn;;;kklllllkmllllllll ….whoa sorry, just had to wipe the drool off the keyboard.
“Now that’s one spicy chick!” = Simple, I made buffalo chicken strips for dinner tonight, a Sam specialty.
“As cute as a baby carrot!” = And to accompany my spicy chick? Baby carrots and blue cheese of course.
“You know what they say about a clean house… someone’s mother must be in town” = I am trying desperately to keep my house is somewhat of an orderly fashion having just found out a few days ago my mom will be coming home to visit over the next week. Time to break out the Clorox and Swiffer spray jet!
“All dressed up and nowhere to go” = Tomorrow night is one of several events for my program, an awards ceremony and dinner. So, as per my usual ‘pregame’ routine, I’m trying on all my wardrobe options, think I’ll go with the green dress.
Love & Squirrels.