“Damn you!” Jason screamed into the night as he clenched the side of his arm. A searing pain was spreading through his upper extremity like molten lava. Bringing his wounded arm into the waning moonlight, he attempted to examine the gash. Smelling the metallic odor of fresh blood, Jason gritted his teeth and quickly tore a strip of cloth from his tunic and fashioned an impromptu tourniquet. “That one’s going to leave a mark,” he thought sardonically.
For as long as he could remember, Jason had been waging one battle after another against the scourge of his land, simply known as the horde. The horde was not simply one enemy, but, like the name implied, a multitude of ruthlessly bloodthirsty fiends bent on killing every living organism in Jason’s homeland, Great Farlain.
Due only to his incomparable courage and skill, Jason had successfully made a dent in their numbers- but it never seemed to be enough. Armed with flimsy blades or if he were lucky, an unwieldy axe, Jason barely escaped each encounter with his life- his weaponry was sadly lacking and was usually left on the battle field in more than one piece. “Is there not one weapon capable of the bringing this innumerable enemy to its demise?” Jason pleaded with the heavens.
And then, one night, it appeared- a streaking gleam of hope piercing through the darkest gloom. With a single thunderclap to announce its arrival, the mythical Eletricous, the most powerful of swords, claimed to once have belonged to the god of war himself, spiraled in a cyclone from the heavens and fell at the foot of Jason.
Finally, the warrior has his weapon, Jason thought with barely contained elation. For too long had the warrior been riddled with deficient weaponry, even reduced to using his bare hands at times, not that such trivialities could stop Jason from his mission. Removing the long-awaited weapon from its sheath Jason tested its weight with both hands. Choking up to the hilt, he swung the beautifully-crafted sword in slow arcs in front of his body and then brought it in close to examine the mighty Eletricous with a bit more care. Just as much a piece of art as weaponry, Jason admired the glinting steel, the beautiful markings and the trademark thunderbolt that shot down the length of Eletricous. “Beautiful,” Jason whispered in unabashed reverence.
Raising the sword above his head he shook with worthiness, the horde was as good as dead. As if in response to his internal affirmation, Eletricous shot a blue bolt of hissing lightning from its sharpened tip lighting up the night sky.
And thus began the Eleven Year War, the eradication of the horde was at last at hand.
The Not So Fantastic Reality:
The above story was inspired by the following tidbits I encountered today:
ONE: Blanket Statement- you don’t know fun, until you wield an “Electric Mosquito Trap”. Shaped like a child’s tennis racquet, put two double-A’s in this baby, and BOY HOWDY! let the fireworks begin! Just swing it in the vicinity of one of those nasty bloodsuckers (we have a ton that get in the house, thanks to the impetuousness of our dogs, IN OR OUT!!! Sheesh) and ZAP! the thing is fried with an impressive sizzle of bluish electricity. For the last few hours I’ve been buzzing (you’ll excuse the pun, won’t you?) around the house hunting for mosquitos to kill. Talk about satisfaction, it doesn’t get any better. I feel like a warrior princess, taking revenge on a savage enemy who has been quite literally sucking the life out of me and my family. Sorry, gotta fly (I must be butter cause I’m on a roll!) duty calls… ZAP!!!
Got another one.
Love & Squirrels.