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Day #173: Scout’s Horror


The Story:

 

I spot you

From over fifty yards away

There in your guise of innocence

You guard the entryway,

Picking off the weakest and the unsuspecting.

 

My throat closes up;

My hands begin to sweat;

I quell a tremor- I know I must approach,

But can I hope to pass unscathed?

 

Pacing sporadically,

Looking intently for your next victim

You don’t see me yet.

I search for the others- you always travel in packs;

I see them now, swarming on some poor soul, he never had a chance.

 

Head down

Eyes avoidant

I breeze past the first of their ranks undetected

Suppressing a cry of jubilation I press on.

 

The entrance is but a few feet away

Somehow their beady eyes and nimble legs

Have failed them- allowing me safe passage.

Out of nowhere, I see a flash of blue

Accosted suddenly by the leader of the motley crew

I wince in anticipation as he dodges in front of me,

 

“Would you like to buy some popcorn?”

 

pure evil...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Not So Fantastic Reality:

The above story was inspired by the following tidbits I encountered today:

ONE:      OK, I’m probably gonna get a lot of crap for this one, so be it. Today, I decided to take advantage of the break in rain and get a few errands out of the way, first stopping at Walgreens to pick up a prescription and then on to my local Publix to stock up for the next week (and the impending flood since the rain is showing no signs of stopping for a few days). As I began to approach the Walgreens, my stomach dropped and I thought seriously about turning around and going through the drive-thru. But, by that time, they had spotted me. With their adorable scarfs and hats, there they were right by the door (that has to be a safety hazard, right?) just waiting for me to come closer. Cub Scouts… ugh. After smiling uncomfortably and avoiding eye contact, I all but sprinted inside saying “no thanks” and feeling like the scum on the bottom of scums’ shoe for not buying crappy popcorn. It’s not the Cub Scouts, per se, that I have a problem with, it’s anyone that sets up shop in front of a storefront and guilts unsuspecting shoppers into buying newspapers, cookies, popcorn, key chains or those rubber bracelets. It just really rubs me the wrong way. Say what you will, that I’m a misanthrope, curmudgeoned, grumpy etc., but is there something wrong with just wanting to patronize a store without having to worry about being hounded by a tableful of brightly dressed kids (and it’s always kids) trying to sell me crap? After escaping Walgreens, I drove a few blocks to Publix… and another table of Boy Scouts. I almost lost it. Having to say ‘no thanks’ to popcorn again, and feel like the worst human being alive again, I was ready to call it a day.

Dagnabit kids, what they need to do is get a job and stop askin for a handout... why, in my day...

Love & Squirrels.

 

 

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About samshine20

Writing a fictious story based on my day's events... every day. Apparently this is how I celebrate turning 30. That's me! ...just a girl with dream. And a blog.

3 responses »

  1. Funny thing… When I was a Girl Scout posted in front of the store and charged with asking people to buy cookies, I hated being there as much as I now hate being accosted there… 😉

    Reply
  2. I know what you mean, WalMart has the wounded vets out front can’t say no dagnabit

    Reply
  3. Agree with Kana. Been there. Done that. Try to avoid them at all costs!!!

    Reply

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