The Not So Fantastic Reality:
The above story was inspired by the following tidbits I encountered today:
ONE: Just as I lean back to try and take a quick cat nap on my lunch break today, my cell phone begins to buzz on the desk- I have a text message. At this exact moment, I also hear the unmistakable chop chop chop chop chop of a helicopter hovering very near the campus. Having worked at a large university for almost three years now, the sound of a helicopter doesn’t really peek much interest anymore… there is always something happening on campus that the local media feel is a “BREAKING STORY”. Ignoring the whirly-bird outside my window, I decide to check who it was that texted me (or more importantly, identify the shmuck responsible for postponing what should have been a lovely nappy-poo) and it’s an alert from the university. Apparently, a SUSPICIOUS PACKAGE had been found outside the visitor’s center on the other side of campus causing the roads to be shut down, the campus police to fly into (over)reaction and the previously mentioned helicopter to zoom into the area to catch the entire developing crisis safely from above. OK, don’t get me wrong, I think it’s great that the university takes campus safety seriously, especially in this day in age. But come on… seeing how it’s two days before the beginning of the fall semester and the campus is swirling with activity, I’m guessing some frosh or frosh’s parents left their lunchbox or overloaded backpack in front of the center in a rush to get to their orientation or whatever on time. It turned out to be nothing (shocker) and campus went back to normal but only after sending every student, staff and faculty member four emails and two text messages regarding this ‘life threatening event’. The whole incident got me thinking about how a “suspicious package” could have been used as a ‘real’ threat… maybe as a decoy. Somehow that led me to imagining the Greeks and the Trojan and their infamous gift horse. What if the Trojans were so preoccupied with a similar ‘false alarm’ (like a poorly-delivered birthday gift for Helen) that while they devoted all their attention to investigating the ‘threat’ the Greeks discover there’s no need for their ‘horse play’ and simply walk in? A stretch I know. I could see it in my head and it was funny… so just go with it.
Love & Squirrels.