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Day #82: Wanna Go For A Drive?

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The Story:

Top Ten Reasons Why Road Rules Might Not Apply to You

While Driving in Orlando:

1. I’m a tourist from Ohio and I missed my exit for Disney’s Animal Kingdom

Hello, I suck at driving

2. It’s raining

Oooo... it's drizzling. Better put on my hazards and drive in two lanes... without my lights on.

3. I have a craving for Four Rivers Barbeque and can therefore park my vehicle on the sidewalk, neighbor’s private yard or median

Like Chick-fil-A... you always crave it on Sundays. You win this round, Jesus.

4. I’m on I-4

Worst. Highway. Ever.

5. Oh look hon, there’s another garage sale, make a U-turn here (in the middle of a four-lane road)

Not sure who 'Hugh' is...but sounds like one heck of a sale

6. I’m over 85 and can’t see over my steering wheel, but since I’m driving a land-yacht I’m not too concerned

no ma'am...

7. I was confused by the construction on Colonial Dr. so I just created my own lane

"You should be in that lane"

8. My car’s AC is broken and I can’t see through the waterfall of sweat cascading off of my forehead

Come on, girlfriend! You're worth it!

9. I’m on I-4 (bears repeating)

I just really hate this road.

10. I’m still pissed about the Casey Anthony verdict

That fart someone ripped in the elevator? Yeah, I lied about that too... it was me.


The Not So Fantastic Reality:

The above story was inspired by the following tidbits I encountered today:

ONE:      Either I am becoming that old lady who yells at people to “Slow Down!” as they race by me or the drivers in Orlando are getting progressively worse. Out of the ten examples listed above, ten are based on actual experiences I’ve had as a motorist in the City Beautiful. Combine tourists, rainy weather and I-4 (main interstate dissecting Orlando and leading to all major attractions) and the summer is a dangerous time to be out on the roadways. Other than just shaking your head and cranking up Sublime, (not to mention praying for safe delivery to your destination) there isn’t much you can do to combat the crazy drivers that seem to be around every corner and blowing you out with their crappy base at every stoplight. This was my conversation as Andy and I navigated around town today when I mentioned that people just don’t think the rules of the road apply to them for whatever reason (although I can sympathize somewhat with #3… man that brisket is good… throw in some fried pickles, mac n’ cheese and a Cheerwine… anything goes).

Love & Squirrels.


About samshine20

Writing a fictious story based on my day's events... every day. Apparently this is how I celebrate turning 30. That's me! ...just a girl with dream. And a blog.

One response »

  1. 10 reasons I no longer live there


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