“What do you mean this is normal?” A.J. looked down at his trembling hands and tried to bring his voice back down to a normal octave. “Dale, look at this. This is not normal. My hands are shaking like Jell-O in an earthquake, this is most definitely NOT normal,” A.J. looked down again at his quaking digits and tried to shake the tremors out of them, much to the amusement of his friend Dale.
“Stop being such a wuss A.J. and help me lift this,” Dale laughed at his friend from the far side of a couch they had been carrying to the moving truck. Moving was never fun, but Dale had just landed a great house on a lake and had to be out of their old place by 4pm that day. Unfortunately, his roommate and best friend had a very low threshold for physical activity of any kind, choosing to focus his attentions on the gaming and online world, making him close to useless when it came to the heavy lifting.
“I don’t think I can go on, Dale. I think… I think I might be dying here,” A.J. sank down on the couch that was now in the middle of their driveway, and slumped over. “Seriously dude, I’m not even kidding… I’ve never EVER felt so terrible in my entire life. Something is definitely wrong, now my legs are tingling and spasming!” A.J. grabbed his thigh muscles and tried to stop the spasms.
“You’re fine, I promise. Believe it or not, that’s normal too. Sometimes after you’ve been moving or walking around a lot and then go to sit down your legs will spasm a few minutes. Happens after my runs all the time. I kinda like it, actually,” Dale said knowing his explanations might as well be kept to himself, A.J. was not listening, he was too busy checking his pulse, staring at his hands or slapping at his thigh muscles.
“Dale, I want you to listen to me. And I’m serious,” A.J. was now fully reclined on the couch with his left arm resting on his forehead, “If something happens to me, I want you to tell my mom I love her. And give my games and passwords to G8RMAN82 from WOW, his info is in my desk drawer.”
“Give me a break, A.J. you’re not dying. Anyway, if you think you feel bad today, wait till tomorrow and the next day, you’re going to be really hating life then,” Dale chuckled and took a swig of his Gatorade.
A.J. sat up a little and cast a terrified look at Dale. “What… what do you mean? How could it possibly get any worse than this? You’re kidding right?” A.J. looked like he was on the verge of tears.
For a minute Dale considered taking it easy on his roomie, but decided he would have a little more fun at his expense. “Oh yeah, I hate to even tell you,” Dale said feigning an overly somber tone. “Tomorrow you’ll be so you’ll have to spit into a bucket because you won’t even have the strength to swallow. From there it gets even worse. The following day there will my green ooze coming out of your pores and your hair may start to fall out. But don’t worry, that only happens to people who don’t exercise regularly. Oh… that’s right, I forgot… sorry buddy. Looks like you’re in for a long couple of days. So, let’s move this couch and get going!” Dale said cheerily.
“I hate you,” A.J. said as he hauled himself off of the couch and walked to the opposite end of Dale and gripped the hefty piece of furniture. “You totally owe me for this. If I die, I am definitely coming back to haunt you,” he said as they heaved the couch off of the ground and started towards the truck.
“This goes against everything I stand for,” A.J. managed to grunt as he moonwalked towards their destination, his side of the couch dipping a little every so often. “What do I always say, Dale?” he coaxed as the slid the couch into the back of the truck.
Sighing, Dale rubbed the sweat off of his forehead with the back of his arm and with as little enthusiasm as he could muster replied, “You always say that if Saturday wasn’t for sitting, then they would call it something else”.
The Not So Fantastic Reality:
The above story was inspired by the following tidbits I encountered today:
ONE: Today was one of those days that you think is going to go one way, and ends up going a completely different direction. Andy’s mother rang us up to request our help today to move some furniture she bought to a rental property she was trying to get gussied up in order to list. What we thought would be a few hours turning into an all-day event. Not that I’m complaining. It was actually pretty fun and some of the items we packed and moved were pretty interesting (all of the items were from a house that had been sold furnished and the buyers did not want the furniture, so Andy’s mom got it all for a steal). After moving furniture, packing and unpacking and not really eating anything too substantial, by the time we left at 9pm, I was shaking a little from exhaustion and I guess hunger too. It’s always a strange sensation for me, that subtle trembling of your hands and legs when your muscles finally have the chance to relax. I’m sure much more interesting things happened to me today that I could have written about but to be honest… I’m pooped.
Love & Squirrels.