Rules of Ultimate JayWalker
- Players can choose to be either the pedestrian or the motorist. There must be an even number of motorists to pedestrians.
- Player will then roll dice to be randomly assigned a character from the pool of 24 unique characters of the game (12 per motorist, 12 per pedestrian). Example of motorist characters include: Dry Ice Trucker going on two hours of sleep, Soccer Mom Minivan driven by emasculated dad, Clutchless VW Bus Stoner, and Ice Cream truck driver who just lost his A/C. Example of pedestrian characters include: deaf little old lady with walker, crazy homeless guy with awesome beard and walking stick, 10-year-old boy on a Schwinn with a sling shot, young mother on her cell phone with two small children, and zany sign-spinning Spiderman who’s got nothing to lose.
- An official of Ultimate JayWalker will then outfit each player with the appropriate character vehicle and/or props. Once all players are outfitted, they will be escorted to the Ultimate JayWalker closed course.
- Players will be randomly assigned, one motorist per pedestrian.
- Objective is simple, motorists and pedestrians will instigate collisions and the last to back off, without actually causing impact, gains the most points.
- Pedestrians should be creative in their approach. Bonus points are awarded for ingenuity. Cartwheels, walking on hands, a zig zag motion or the crazy eye stare while frozen in motorist’s path are just a few effective examples.
- Colorful language, expressions, or threats of harm are all part of the game and could also earn bonus points based on creativity.
- Points are assigned by a panel of three officials overseeing the game. Highest points win.
The Not So Fantastic Reality:
The above story was inspired by the following tidbits I encountered today:
ONE: Sometimes driving in this city is more than I can take. Especially on the road to the Orlando International Airport… are there some interesting characters on that leg or what? The speed limit on this particular road is up to 55 mph for most stretches and it is a six lane bustling artery hedged by strip malls, fast food joints and ratty billboards for Spanish-language attorneys. Not a road you would choose for a relaxing Sunday afternoon stroll, to say the least. Unless, of course, you are a certain gentleman with a very bushy white beard and a devil-may-care attitude… a man I had the pleasure of encountering today on the way to collect Andy from the airport. As I’m coursing down the road in the middle lane, going about 60mph, I see this man decide that now would be a good time to cross six lanes of bustling traffic. Walking at a snail’s pace, he meanders across the street, narrowly escaping certain death several times and manages to end up in my lane just as I am approaching. I think, maybe he’ll speed up a bit to avoid an afternoon meal of my fender… I think wrong. If anything he slows down so I am forced to slam on my breaks and pray that the Rav4 behind me can break in time too. Going from 60 to a full stop in a matter of seconds, I am a little shaken and very pissed. I could have been a gnat for the amount of attention this jaywalker paid me. I was half tempted to give him a little nudge with the front of my car as a way of punishing him for his carelessness… but I managed to suppress that urge and continued on my way. Some of the pedestrian characters are based on similar jaywalkers I have either personally come close to hitting or witness being hit while driving on this same road (the mother on her phone dragging her three-year-old across the street was perhaps the worst).
Love & Squirrels.