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Day #66: Helpful Halitosis

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The Story:

Wish you had a little more self-control when you are dining out?

Have diets, pills and calorie-counting all failed?

Is portion-control something you struggle with?

 

All that can be a thing of the past with the introduction of a new and revolutionary food-management technique that is sweeping the finest restaurants and cafes of Europe and Canada. Now, available in a growing number of fine dining establishments in cities across the nation, comes:

The program is simple. Wherever you see this logo on the menu:

 

Just order as you normally would and ask your meal be served by a HH certified server. Your food will then be hand-delivered by a trained and overly-friendly server diagnosed with a severe case of Halitosis. If you can make it through half of your entrée without a total loss of appetite, simply breathe deeper or ask your HH certified server about the specials or dessert options.

Here’s what people on the program are saying:

“I was so disgusted and preoccupied I could only take a few bites. This program really works!” – Sheryl Dupont, Boston

“I’ve already lost 10 pounds thanks to the HH program. I make sure to always order from a HH certified server and I haven’t made it through an entire meal yet. Thanks HH!” – Douglas Buford, New Orleans

“I had my doubts, but this really works! Not only does this program allow you to eat whatever you want, you usually are able to eat several satisfying bites before the program takes effect. It’s great!” –Betty Griswald, Miami

Be sure to ask for the HH program the next time you visit your favorite eatery! For more information and to view which restaurants in your area offer the HH program, please visit our web site at: http://www.theHH.com.

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The Not So Fantastic Reality:

The above story was inspired by the following tidbits I encountered today:

ONE:      The craving for a tasty dessert hit the boyfriend and I late tonight, so we decided to take a trip to our local Cheesecake Factory to satisfy our sweet tooth (sweet teeth?). After several minutes of scanning the massive menu, I make my selection (key lime cheesecake, if you’re interested) and as I was handing over my menu to our very pleasant server, I noticed Andy had a very odd expression on his face. “What’s with the face?” I ask. Removing the hand that had been subtly covering his mouth and nostrils, he replied, “Either our server has the worst breath ever or… he pooped his pants”. The way he said it, almost apologetically made the statement even funnier to me, and for the rest of the evening every time our server would come and check up on us, Andy would look away or scrunch his face. Hilarious (Andy’s reaction, not the Halitosis). To make it even more entertaining (for me) our server happened to be a close talker and a very ‘interactive’ bloke, getting within inches of Andy’s face when asking about the chocolate tower of death dessert he ordered or refilling his water glass. The experience pretty much zapped any appetite either of us had, which was probably a good thing (my jeans might have actually sighed in relief). I felt pretty bad for the guy, he was very nice and doing his darndest, but man… you would think one of his coworkers would have enough empathy to pull the guy over and offer a stick of gum, an Altoid, something to mask the very di-stink-tive odor emanating from his mouth. Perhaps instead of leave a very large pity tip, I should have left him with a more valuable tip- a piece of Doublemint and the name & number of the closest dentist.

Love & Squirrels.

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About samshine20

Writing a fictious story based on my day's events... every day. Apparently this is how I celebrate turning 30. That's me! ...just a girl with dream. And a blog.

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