“This is highly demoralizing, and furthermore I’d be willing to bet that my lawyer would be extremely interested in hearing all about what can, for all intents and purposes, be considered child labor,” Chris emphasized his last words. Seeing that his words failed to have the impact he had hoped for, Chris decided to change tactics, “Now, I understand that you believe you are doing what is best for me, I really do. To be honest, I respect your stalwart stance on the issue. It’s not every day you come across a citizen with your integrity and belief system, it is to be commended. Having said that,” Chris paused for dramatic effect, “I really must insist on reaching some sort of common ground on this issue”. He folded his arms smugly across his small chest and glanced up at his opponent. Did he detect the slightest chink in that steely resolve? It was time to bring it home and end this ridiculous ‘misunderstanding’ (as Chris liked to think of it) once and for all.
“Perhaps it has escaped you that what we are talking about has some serious health implications. Forcing a minor to come into contact with and dispose of hazardous waste without the proper equipment, safety gear or protective clothing is not only irresponsible but downright immoral. Are you an immoral person? Ask yourself that. Are you really willing to put a child’s health at risk? And for what? For what??? So a mundane chore can be checked off of some bureaucrat’s list? Well, I for one won’t stand for it. The question is, will you? Will you be one more voice against this tyranny or will you be the mindless fist that silences anyone who speaks out against it? Its decision time, mom. What do you say?” Chris looked at his mother with what he hoped appeared to be confidence and self-assuredness.
Chris’ mother sighed wearily and wiped her wet and soapy hands on a dish towel as she turned from the sink full of dishes she was washing. “Go scoop poop, Chris. I won’t ask you again,” she said to her youngest son, who had obviously been watching way too many episodes of Judge Judy this summer. “If your father asked you to do something, then you do it, end of story,” she said, trying to sound firm.
Chris hung his head; he knew he had been defeated. Walking towards the back door, he stopped and in one last act of defiance, asked “And what if I don’t?” a little timidly. Somewhat taken aback from this last piece of backtalk, Chris’ mother put her hands on her hips and sternly replied, “Believe me son, you don’t want to know”.
Chris appeared to contemplate this, and responded, “I see your point and I will comply… but I’m not happy about it,” and with that he disappeared out the door into the backyard where he proceeded to pick up Shep, the family dog’s poop.
The Not So Fantastic Reality:
The above story was inspired by the following tidbits I encountered today:
ONE: It was pooper-scooper time today, and boy is that a thankless chore. Without going into too much detail, picking up what Joey leaves behind is like raking little rocks that bounce and zing all over the place except into the little shovel device you intended them to go. One lesson I learned today, don’t poop scoop your backyard in flip flops. Besides the obvious risk of stepping in a landmine, you also run the risk of stepping on sandspurs, ant beds, and the lazy wasp that just so happened to take a little rest on the spot of ground I was walking towards. Thankfully, I saw the ornery critter in the nick of time and only got a warning buzz, but it’s closed-toe shoes for this doody-wrangler from now on.
TWO: For those of you who don’t reside in the Central Florida area, we are currently enveloped in one of the biggest criminal cases our lil town has ever seen… the Casey Anthony murder trial. It’s on every news channel, newspaper, web page, and talk radio station, there is no escaping it. It’s a sad case, actually, a young (sociopathic, in my humble opinion) mother on trial for the murder of her two year old daughter. I think the trial and accompanying theories, ongoing speculation etc. of it must be seeping into my subconscious, lending itself to the tone of today’s story…
Love & Squirrels.