Blue Dog stretched nice and long before throwing himself into his workout routine. After spending the night in the “doggy hospital” Blue Dog was still not back to his normal level of awesomeness, but he was back… and ready for revenge. Roof-cat had infiltrated his home, had poisoned his food and had tried to replace him in Rose’s heart. One and two and three… Blue Dog took another lap around the kitchen before running to the living room carpet. Finding his semi-destroyed stuffed gator, Blue Dog grabbed its head and gave it a good shake. Spending another five or so minutes ferociously mutilating the unsuspecting plush reptile, Blue Dog gave it one final shake before ambling back into the kitchen for a drink of water. Now that the calisthenics had been completed it was time to sharpen his senses, and his mind. Time to chase some lizards.
“Let me out!” Blue Dog barked as he stood nose pressed to the glass of the French doors that opened to the backyard. Rose, his owner, smiled despite herself and walked over to allow her once-again impatient pup outside. Watching Blue Dog run to his favorite hunting spot, the gutter spout at the corner of the house, Rose was grinning ear to ear. Blue Dog had given her a real scare the previous day. After eating some tampered food, she had rushed her canine companion to the vet and after a quick exam and several rounds of antibiotics and fluids, Blue Dog was prescribed a night in the hospital to recuperate. Today her dog was returned to her, with some specialty food (soft food? ICK!) and declared 50% improved. Even at half of his awesomeness level, Blue Dog somehow could hunt down and corner one of the mini-dinosaurs that roamed Rose’s back yard at an impressive rate.
But Blue Dog wasn’t simply tracking lizards; he was honing his skills and plotting the imminent downfall of the twisted feline who had tried to kill him. That cat was gonna go splat. Oooo… Blue Dog liked that. He’d have to get that in cross-stitch or something when this revenge business was taken care of.
Roof-cat watched Blue Dog from his perch inside one of the houses’ AC vents. “How had that ridiculous dog survived his toxin?” roof-cat wondered. He’d have to be more thorough next time.
That night, as Blue Dog and Rose slept, roof-cat crept out from his hiding place and wandered over to Blue Dog’s bowl. Poisoning him again would be useless; Blue Dog was too smart for that. No… roof-cat would have to be smarter, and more creative next time. “Mmmm… what is that delicious smell?” roof-cat stuck his button nose into the air and followed it into the kitchen. Leaping up onto the kitchen counter, roof-cat sniffed the air again and stopped in front of the open microwave. “What’s this, then?” roof-cat wondered before seeing the salmon filet in cream sauce sitting inside. “This is too good to be true!” he thought and forced himself to take a step back. “Oh, but it smells sooooo good… maybe just one little bite,” and before he knew what he was doing he leapt into the open microwave and started chowing down.
“Blue Dog! You lint-licker! Let me outta here!!!” roof-cat screamed as he scratched at the glass door that had shut him in the microwave.
“What do you think? 10 minutes do the trick?” Blue Dog started pressing buttons on the microwave power panel, “or maybe 8 will be enough… I hate to waste power,” Blue Dog let out a little chuckle. Roof-cat let out a pathetic hiss and desperately tried to turn around in search for a way out. There was none.
“Power level, 100 per-cent… ok, that sounds good,” Blue Dog continued to say, just loud enough for roof-cat to hear. With his paw hovering over the ‘START’ button, Blue Dog glanced at his enemy and was suddenly overcome with a new sensation… pity. He knew he couldn’t kill roof-cat, any more than he could purposely poop on Rose’s beloved hand-stitched quilt. Sighing, Blue Dog hit the ‘OPEN’ button and the microwave door sprung open.
Covered in cream sauce and pinkish bits of fish, roof-cat stuck one paw out of the microwave as he suspiciously eyed Blue Dog. “Another trap, Blue Dog?” he asked with a quiver in his voice. “No. No traps, no tricks. You’re free to go. Maybe you’ll remember this the next time you try to kill me,” Blue Dog replied. Roof-cat hopped off the kitchen countertop and sauntered out of the kitchen. Just as he reached the garage door (conveniently left ajar) he looked back at Blue Dog and with a smirk said, “Not likely!” and disappeared into the night.
The Not So Fantastic Reality:
The above story was inspired by the following tidbits I encountered today:
ONE: Joey is home! He’s still a little out of it, but he’s loads better than he was yesterday. The instant we got home he ran to the back door, itching to get outside and remind the local lizards that he’s still top dog. Upon returning inside, he found his favorite stuffed animal, a camo-colored gator, and began to tear it limb from limb. Attacking it with renewed enthusiasm, Joey rolled around on his back in the fluff from the gutted gator before he galloped to where his bowl was and stared at it expectantly. He was hungry again! Hooray! Dishing out some of the special (read: expensive & gas-inducing) food the vet sent home, Joey began to eat. Took him a little longer than usual, but he ate it all. He’s currently curled up and is fast asleep next to me… my boy is back. Thanks for all the well wishes everyone!
Love & Squirrels.