Once upon a time there was a fearless canine named Blue Dog. Blue Dog, despite his 11 pound stature, fancied himself a ferocious killer of stuffed animals; a peerless hunter of lizards and the proud owner of a piercing howl that could bring a wolf to its knees. Blue Dog was unaware of any restrictions his T-Rex sized legs encountered, he would simply gnaw to pieces anything that came in his way. Proud owner of a lustrous coat of blue hair (it’s funny cause he has no hair… sorry, inside joke), Blue Dog knew he was special; after all how many blue dachshunds have you ever seen? Exactly.
Blue Dog was a force to be reckoned with, as anyone lucky enough to cross his path could attest. Knowing no fear, Blue Dog was envied by all lesser animals in the neighborhood, but that wasn’t his fault… he was just that awesome. Movie star, home security enforcer and alarm clock were just a few of his more esteemed traits. And his owner, Rose, adored him (most of the time).There was nothing this little dog couldn’t surmount, nothing could bring him down. Blue dog possessed a head made of steel, and he liked to test it quite a bit on the bottom of the coffee table at home (ouch!).
One day, after a tiring day of running around his expansive backyard, rounding up vermin and barking at insolent lizards (would they never learn?), Blue Dog pranced inside… another day well done. Looking around and seeing that his dinner had yet to be served, he creased his brow and let out a bark (that actually sounded more like a chirp, but don’t tell him that). Looking up from the couch where she was working, Rose looked at the clock. “Blue Dog, you’re half an hour early,” she said and went back to typing on her laptop. “BARK! BARK!” Blue Dog answered. “Ugh, Fine!” Rose stood up and grabbed Blue Dogs’ bowl to fill with his dinner.
“Thanks for asking nicely, sheesh,” she complained as she set his bowl down. Walking back to her laptop, Rose started to work again to the sounds of Blue Dog chomping away. When Blue Dog failed to come to the couch after finishing his meal, as was his usual routine, Rose looked up to see her dog staring at his bowl. “What gives, Blue Dog?” Rose said as she started to walk over to where he stood. Following his gaze, Rose saw a tiny note had been attached to the bottom of his bowl. “How did I miss that,” she wondered. Picking up the note, she read it aloud, but Blue Dog already knew what it said.
I can no longer stand in the shadow of your awesomeness. If you are reading this it means you have already ingested the toxin I covered this note with as it has seeped into your food. Why did you have to be so awesome?!?!
~The cat who sleeps on the roof.
“Oh my God!” Rose shouted. But Blue Dog barely heard her. He was already feeling the effects of the toxin… he knew he didn’t have much time. Looking at Rose, he tried to grin but the air began to swim and she seemed to be so far away.
“Hold on Blue Dog! Hold on!” he could barely make out her garbled protests as he fell over on the floor. Blue Dog drifted in and out of consciousness, clips of being put in the car… being carried into a strange, white room…. WHOA! a thermometer being poked up his fanny… NOT COOL, dude!
“Miss, I’ll need you to leave him with me tonight,” Blue Dog perked up enough to hear a kindly gentleman speak to Rose. “Ok, just take care of him,” Rose replied. “Of course, it’ll be like he’s one of my own,” the doctor replied with a smile and picked up Blue Dog gently. Turning to leave, Rose looked back once more and said, “and doctor? Just be sure to remember, that’s no ordinary dog you hold… that’s Blue Dog”.
Watching Rose walk away, Blue dog caught a movement in the window outside of the clinic… Great googley moogley! It’s that blasted roof-cat! But Blue Dog was too weak to bark a warning to his beloved Rose and watched helplessly as she walked to her car, followed by the ne’er-do-well cat who sneaked into the passenger seat as Rose looked back at the clinic one last time. The last thing Blue Dog remembered was seeing that cat grinning in the back window as Rose pulled away… and left him.
To be continued…
The Not So Fantastic Reality:
The above story was inspired by the following tidbits I encountered today:
ONE: My dog is sick. My heart isn’t really in this tonight… I’m worried about my puppy who is in the ‘doggy hospital’ overnight so he can get better. I know he’s in good hands, he’s on an antibiotic and should be ready to come home tomorrow if all goes well. I know it’s probably nothing too serious, the vet told me he probably just ate something that’s causing the issue, but I’m a little freaked out. Joey has been my one constant for the last seven years, through a lot of garbage… he’s my little man. So, if you don’t mind, send some good vibes out for the little monster… and hopefully this story will have a happy, and silly ending. Incidentally, the line about Joey being a movie star isn’t completely fictional, if you’d like to see his acting debut click here.
Love & Squirrels.