“Ugh… we’re never gonna get this done,” Doug started at the mountain in front of him.
“Sure we will, we just have to roll up our sleeves and dig in,” Taylor replied a little too perkily to his friend.
“OK, what do we do first?” Doug looked around at the intimidating machines and the array of cleaning and washing solutions on the shelf.
“Um…” Taylor scratched his head, “Maybe there will be instructions on the machine,” he said as he moved towards the washer. “Hmm…looks like there was some sort of directions here, but they are too faded to read,” Taylor peered at the faded blue characters on the lid of the washer before sighing in defeat.
“I have my IPad… we can look it up!” Doug walked over to his backpack and pulled out the tablet. After about 40 minutes of reading various blogs, forums, Wiki pages and even watched a clip from an old FRIENDS episode featuring Rachel’s first experience in a Laundromat, Taylor and Doug believed they were now prepared… to do their laundry.
“OK, first things first. We start the washer and put some soap in it. OK, now we put the clothes in. Did we remove the red sock? Good, now stuff everything in. OK, now we wait, I guess,” Doug put his hands on his hips in triumph.
“That wasn’t too bad,” Taylor smiled. “Now we can work on our video presentation for class. I think the cycle will take about 38 minutes, so we just have to listen for when it’s done so we can put everything in the dryer,” he finished and pulled out his laptop.
Completely engrossed in their project, neither of the boys noticed when over an hour had passed. “Did you ever hear the washer go off?” Taylor looked up and tried to listen.
“Guess we better go check on it,” Doug said as they stood up and walked to the laundry area of Taylors’ parents’ house in the garage.
“Crap!” Taylor groaned, “We forgot to put the lid down. The washer has just been sitting here full of water and it never ran!” and he slammed to lid closed initiating instant activity within the washer.
“Great, now we’re gonna be up forever waiting for this stupid load to get done,” Doug complained.
“Hehehe, you said load,” Taylor snickered.
“Shut up, Taylor. This isn’t funny. We’ve got to present tomorrow and now we’re going to be up all night waiting for our stupid laundry to get done,” Doug was not amused.
“Well, we might as well get back to work, no sense watching the washer do it’s thang…won’t make it go any faster,” Taylor said and they walked back inside and got back to work.
“Ok, now we put the clothes into the dryer, add a dryer sheet and choose the setting we want,” Doug read from his IPad. “Oh and we have to be sure to empty the lint trap or it could set a fire,” he continued.
“A fire? Seriously? Who knew laundry could be so dangerous,” Taylor laughed and searched for the lint trap. “OK, lint trap has been located and emptied,” Taylor pressed the sheet of lint against his chin in the shape of a fuzzy multicolored goatee.
“Quit messin around,” Doug tried not to chuckle at his friend who now slightly resembled a younger version of Uncle Sam. “Let’s get back to our presentation,” and walked back inside.
About an hour later, the boys were jolted from their concentration by a loud buzz coming from the garage. “What the heck was that?” Doug asked.
“I think it was the dryer,” Taylor said as they both went out to investigate.
“Why the heck did it buzz, if the clothes are still wet?” Doug asked.
“No idea,” Taylor replied, “guess we just have to wait some more”. And wait they did. As they waited and attempted to work, about every ten minutes or so, they would be interrupted by the loud, incessant buzz of the dryer.
“That thing is so annoying. I can’t concentrate!” Doug yelled.
“Let me go check on our stuff, it’s been over an hour it should be dry by now,” Taylor hopped off the floor where he had been working and jogged to the garage.
After more than ten minutes went by and Taylor still hadn’t returned, Doug decided to check on his friend. “What’s the deal out here?” he asked as he saw his friend peering at the knobs on the dryer.
“The clothes are still wet, and I think I’ve figured out why. Looks like we used the “Air Fluff” setting which apparently doesn’t use any heat so it takes twice as long for anything to dry,” Taylor looked as if he were about to crack.
“Good lord, this is taking forever!” Doug moaned. “Well, let’s just put it on the highest & hottest setting and that way it’ll make up for lost time,” Doug looked at the dials and chose the one he thought would heat the clothes the most. The dryer started to spin and the boys went back inside. Before long, they began to drift and within the hour they had both fallen asleep in the living room despite the glare of their computer screens.
“Good Morning. My name is Doug Kinderlund and this is Taylor Lindt. Our presentation will be on ITS: Intelligent Transportation System,” Doug pulled at his collar uncomfortably and tried not to make eye contact with anyone. As a result of their attempt at laundry last night, both boys were experiencing serious discomfort under the scrutiny of their audience. Not only did they fail to notice that their suits were labeled “dry clean only” before tossing them in with their underwear and gym clothes, they also were successful in shrinking them quite considerably thanks to the intense heat of the dryer setting they chose. Add to that the severe wrinkling both suits endured thanks to their sitting in a cold dryer overnight, and you will have a pretty accurate picture of the boys’ discomfort today. Pulling at his collar and too-short jacket sleeves, Taylor was hiding his too-small-to-button jacket and very ‘form fitting’ pants behind a large binder while Doug was trying to disappear behind the podium. He still hadn’t noticed the dryer sheet clinging to the back of one pant leg.
The Not So Fantastic Reality:
The above story was inspired by the following tidbits I encountered today:
ONE: I hate doing laundry. I hate it so much in fact, that I wait until the very last second to do it (down to my last pair of knickers today). That, of course then results in the majority of my day being spent chained to the laundry room, hauling load after load of soiled and then clean clothing back and forth (ha ha, I said load). My least favorite part of this chore is the folding and the putting away process. Now, I’m not proud of this, but I have been known to just leave the neatly stacked piles of freshly laundered clothes on the couch and just grab what I need as the week progresses… not proud, like I said.
TWO: I recently inherited my mom’s old dryer (mine stopped working awhile back) and the ‘notify’ setting is one of the loudest and most obnoxious sounds I have ever heard. It’s a loud buzz that for whatever reason goes off about 30 minutes into the cycle and then will continue to buzz every 5 to 10 minutes until the load is done. This was driving Andy crazy today, which I of course found wildly amusing…especially since it was only a matter of switching the setting from ‘on’ to ‘off’ that could alleviate this annoyance. Had he but looked during one of his trips to the dryer today (he’s the bestest boyfriend ever, helping me with laundry = gold star!) he would have seen the switch… then again if I wasn’t such a sick and twisted chick who gets her jollies off on expletives being screamed at an inanimate object, I would have told him hours ago.
THREE: The name Taylor is a tribute to my youngest brother who graduates from Edgewater High School this coming Wednesday. Today was his baccalaureate ceremony, and I must say it was pretty surreal to see him decked out in a cap and gown… may sound cheesy but I still remember him as a chubby toddler who followed me around in a homemade pair of Flintstone overalls. Craziness. Best of luck Taylor, I know you’re going to do great at Colorado State (ha ha… total accidental rhyming there, folks).
Love & Squirrels.