Adopted Bylaws of Napping
It is agreed by all board members that napping is considered sacred and should be treated with the upmost respect and consideration. The following bylaws were instituted to better the overall napping experience so that the ideal nap may be experienced by any man, woman or child who adhere to them.
- Do not converse or attempt to speak to any person you have identified as napping. This disruption is aggravating to the napper and it should be noted that they are not really listening to you anyway but are in fact simply wishing you would shut up.
- While the ideal time for taking a nap has been debated at length with no obvious resolution, nappers should consider 3:00pm as a good starting point.
- Napping with a pet is recommended as the pets’ breathing can serve to further relax the napper. Just be sure they are not a ‘barker’.
- Naps should be taken in a space with little distraction and soft lighting.
- Soft, low volume background music is recommended to filter environment noise that could keep you from getting adequate shuteye during your chosen naptime.
- The TV may be left on so long as the volume is at a level where you cannot be sucked in to whatever programming should be on. Recommended shows to have on while napping include Law & Order, professional soccer, reruns of That 70’s Show or anything on PBS. A complete list of nap-appropriate programming can be found online at NappersUnite.com.
- Napping on weekdays vs. weekends can be slightly different, so when considering the prospect of napping, consult your calendar to ensure other events or responsibilities are not planned to better enjoy your nap.
- Every napper is different, but most agree that a lazy Sunday afternoon is the ideal time for a nap.
- Some type of blanket or covering is recommended while napping. Should it be too hot or humid to utilize a covering, the napper should remove one leg from the blanket and place it on top to maximize airflow.
- Avoid napping around ‘friends’ or family members if at all possible as they will most likely see your nap as nothing more than an opportunity to mess with you… beware the bowl of warm water.
- Sharing a nap with a loved one is acceptable, so long as there is adequate space, covering and they are also familiar with the Bylaws of Napping. No hanky panky.
- Always nap on planes.
- Be cautious when napping outside. Various environmental factors, such as too much sun, insects, allergies, unexpected rain or little kids with water guns could make this experience regrettable.
- Nap in comfortable clothing or if necessary, unfasten restraining buttons to maximize comfort.
- According to tradition, all members should participate in all official napping holidays, including: following the Thanksgiving meal, once all the kiddies have opened their Christmas presents, the afternoon or late morning of New Year’s Day.
These bylaws were accepted after a majority vote on May 28, 2011 and are available on hand stitched blankets and pillows available for purchase at NappersUnite.com.
The Not So Fantastic Reality:
Apologies again… still having laptop trouble and was only able to wrestle Andy’s away this morning.
The above story was inspired by the following tidbits I encountered today:
ONE: After only getting about four hours of sleep last night… I was desperate for a nap today. It being a holiday weekend and all, you would think I’d want to spend my time out-of-doors doing something fun… obviously you don’t know me very well (not to mention it’s hotter than blazes outside… this is Florida, after all). So I was all prepared to take a nap this afternoon, had my pillow, my quilt, my dog, and I had found a comfortable position on the couch. Unfortunately, my boyfriend was not ready for a nap and continued to chat away at me, his music blaring. Then, he decided to join me… on the tiny couch that is really not conducive for parallel napping. No matter, we made it work- for about ten minutes. And the Napping Bylaws were born.
Love & Squirrels.