“Hmmm… you look like you have potential…what do you have to offer a girl like me?”
“Increased support and balance. Well, I do like the sound of that, but… there are just so many fish in the sea, I don’t know. What do you say to a test run? Great.”
“Listen, I’m not sure this is going to work out, I was just expecting, I don’t know… a bit more. You just don’t, how do I say this… you just don’t fit me. But hey, you’re great, I’m sure the perfect girl is out there, somewhere. Well then, there’s no need to get nasty… you can just put your tongue back where it was. Glad I didn’t commit to that…sheesh.”
“Oooo, I like you already. Talk about well put-together. Mama like. Let’s see if you’re more than just pretty looks. OK, tough exterior but I have to admit, I already feel so comfortable with you. I think you are just what I’ve been looking for. Want to take a walk, get to know each other? Wow, this feels great… like we are meant to be together. I have to admit, I’m pretty excited about this. I think you’re going to have to come home with me, and that’s all there is to it. Great, let’s get outta here.”
“Now that I’ve brought you home, I just want to be up front about a few things. I’ve been hurt by your kind in the past, and I’m a little anxious that this is going to end up like all the others did. They all start out with great promises, but then, as time goes on, all those expectations fall flat and I’m left wondering what went wrong, is it me? After several years of wondering if I’ll ever find the right one, doing research online, shopping around I was almost ready to give up hope. I thought, maybe I just had bad taste, poor judgment or didn’t know what I really needed. Anyway, I don’t want to put too much pressure on you right away, but I really hope that you turn out different. I’m willing to put in the time, to go the distance, I just want to make sure you can keep up, understand?”
“Ok, so I know this is our first day together, but I’m ready if you are? Really? Ah, that’s great! I was kind thinking we could do it outside, if it’s all the same to you. Yeah? Nice, just give me five minutes; I want to change into something a little more comfortable. Ok, all changed… I’m gonna grab a bottle of water and we can get going… you know what they say about staying hydrated! OK, let’s do it. And I know it’s going to be hard, but try not to think too much… I want to go for at least 30 minutes if we can. We’re still getting used to each other, so there is plenty of time to adjust things later. Let’s not focus on every little detail this first go, cool?”
“Alright, I’m all laced up. Lead the way.”
The Not So Fantastic Reality:
The above story was inspired by the following tidbits I encountered today:
ONE: I bought new sneakers today. I have terrible feet, they are super narrow, I have ridiculously high arches, and I’m pretty sure God skimped when he was putting meat on the bottoms of my feet because after walking for any considerable distance I inevitably feel like I’m walking on bone by the end of the day. It doesn’t feel good. Oh, and I walk on my toes, so within about 6 months my big toe is poking through the top of my shoe. So finding sneakers that I can wear while exercising or just running around doing errands is no small feat (ha ha, get it?). I’ve needed new kicks for quite some time, since my beloved Kangas have started falling apart (man I love those shoes, I mean come on, they have zippers!). Well, after trying on a few pairs today, I think I might have found a winner. A pair of Columbia Kaibab (weird name, but whatevs). So after bringing them home, I laced them up and had a good heart-to-heart, explaining how badly I needed them to work out. Went on a walk for about 30 minutes to test them out, and I am pleased to report, no sore tootsies! I even kept them on while I was making dinner tonight (which I never do, since I LOVE being barefooted). So it looks like I’ve found a fit.
OK, be honest, your mind went straight to the gutter when you read today’s story, didn’t it? Dirty, dirty… tsk, tsk.
On a completely different note…
This Friday, May 20th will mark the first month down of my silly little project (cheers are appreciated… ok, they’re expected). To celebrate, I am inviting all readers of “Guess What I Did Today?” (yes, even you, dad!) to submit a story idea. Be it a picture you have, a conversation you overheard, something that happened to you today, a funny word…anything.
What to do:
1. Write your idea or topic in the comments section of any story
2. When Friday rolls around, I’ll sort through all of your genius submissions
3. The best one gets incorporated into Day #31’s story
Sound good? I think it could be great fun. And who knows, if you guys are down, maybe I’ll make it a regular thing on the 20th of every month? So send me your ideas… don’t be shy, if I can write about my own nonsense just think what I could do with yours!
Love & Squirrels.