This meeting is now called to order, all members will state their name and occupation for the minutes.
Bert Bufford, Tire Rotator
Marty Carmichael, Napkin Roller
Rose Zestini, Spare Button Specialist
Annie Rococo, Inspector #5
Ned Thompson, Highway 12, Toll Booth #4
Jordan Lea, Mannequin Assembler
Sarah Leto, Collar Presser, Expertise Cleaners, LLC.
And I’m Dom Stuart, Toilet Roll Refiller, Downtown Station #7. Ok, now that we are all here, let’s get down to brass tacks.
For our first order of business we will hear from our secretary, Ms. Annie Rococo, on our latest coordinated assault, Annie, you have the floor.
Thank you, Dom. Good evening everyone, I am pleased to report a great success in our ongoing struggle. This latest success, as you know was something I am personally very proud of and you’ll have to excuse me if I seem a little over-excited. As you may remember, during our last meeting it was decided that I would head our strategic efforts by enacting major derelictions of my professional duties as Inspector #5. As you can imagine, my responsibilities are quite important and any slack on my part could cause serious problems for everyone in the city, possibly even the entire state. Taking these measures was quite the imposition, I can assure you, but my professional pride comes second only to my loyalty to this worthy and just cause. I was able to design a system where I would only inspect every third blouse and every other pair of trousers. Furthermore, I can provide proof positive that my efforts were most effective as snagged cuffs, loose hems and faulty zippers were all up a total 1.2% in the last quarter. I think the numbers speak for themselves.
Ned, did you have a question?
No, no… quite the contrary. I would just like to thank, that is, I wanted to personally commend Ms. Rococo and her gallant efforts for the cause. I, in fact, purchased a pair of trousers just last Monday and noticed that my zipper would not stay in place. I even mentioned it to Edgar in #3 and he couldn’t hear me, because of the traffic, you understand, so I kept repeating myself, and you all know how I hate to repeat myself, and-
Ned to the point, man!
Sorry Dom. Um…oh yes, as I was saying, the entire day I would have to keep tugging at my trouser zipper and I can tell you it was very inconvenient. When I took them off that evening, I noticed I had failed to remove the inspector sticker & it was still secured to the waistline. And wouldn’t you know it, it was inspected by none other than the now infamous Inspector #5. So bravo, Ms. Rococo, bravo! I shall forever wear these trousers as a badge of honor.
Very good, Ned, thank you. Now on to new business. As discussed last meeting, we have several options as to our next tactic. I would like to propose a vote to decide in which direction we will pool our efforts. Our choices are as follows:
One, Jordan’s proposal to misappropriate all the mannequin heads in his jurisdiction so that they are positioned 180 degrees in the wrong direction. This would display, quite powerfully I believe, society’s refusal to acknowledge our importance and how society “has it’s head on backwards” when it comes to recongizing the very people who keep it afloat.
Two, Rose’s proposal to shoddily attach all waistline button closures so that they will “pop off” dramatically at any inopportune time. This of course would seriously embarrass anyone wearing these garments and attract their attention to how poor their quality of life may be if the L.O.T.J. is not given our due. And we have a recent development on this one, Rose has just informed me that the next shipment of garments will be uniforms intended for the new police department on 6thAvenue in the Boxing District. Can you imagine! Pandemonium will certainly ensue as our city’s finest are helplessly incapacitated by trousers and shirt fronts that will not stay on for lack of buttons. Ha!
So there you have it, people. Please write your vote on the ballot you were provided and place them in the ballot box next to the Worcestershire sauce. And please, take your time… as you can imagine, this is a most important decision.
Ok… I have the results here…yes, ok it looks like we have a 5 to 3 vote for Proposal Two. Congratulations, Rose, you’re up.
Thanks, Dom. I’m thrilled to accept this mission and I know it will have the impact we are all looking for. Thank you for your confidence, I won’t let you down.
Well then, are there any other agenda items to be discussed? The floor is now open.
Dom, I would just like to quickly remind everyone that all checks for the Fall Masquerade Social are due to me no later than Thursday. Checks can be made out to Marty Carmichael, Treasurer. Thank you.
Ok, thanks Marty, I’m sure we’re all looking forward to another great social this fall. Anyone else? No?
Let the minutes show that this meeting of the L.O.R.J. housed at the Baker Street Waffle House has come to close at 10:57 pm on April 22, 2011.
We are now adjourned.
The Not So Fantastic Reality:
So, this is my first tough one… missed my deadline but figured I didn’t go to sleep yet today, so it doesn’t count.
The above story was inspired by the following tidbits I encountered today:
ONE: Tonight I was fortunate enough to attend the very dramatic production of the Easter story at my mamaw’s church. It was quite the spectacle, and was very impressive. A full orchestra, combined with a several hundred member choir, professional lighting, sound and special effects (this church is locally known as ‘Baptist World’ if that gives you an idea of it’s size… if not, just imagine a mid-sized airport, stick a cross on top, and there ya go). In the few minutes I wasn’t being dazzled by all of this, my attention kept being drawn off-stage to two individuals standing sentinel behind thick black curtains. Each time an actor would run off the stage (no one ever just walked off stage, even the exits were dramatic!) these two individuals were at the ready and just at the right second would separate the curtains as the actor dashed through. This got me thinking, is this their only job? Do they have to stand there all night, just pulling back a curtain? Does that really entail their entire role? It seemed preposterous and then I started thinking about all the jobs out there that are nothing more than the repetition of one thing, day in day out. What must go through these anonymous people’s heads? Do they enjoy their tasks, take pride in them even? Do they resent that most members of society are completely unaware of their existence and what they do for us all? What if they all got together, formed a union and decided to let the rest of us know, once and for all, what our lives would really be like without them. What would it be like to be a fly on the wall at one of their meetings? Well, now you know.
Oh, and in case you’re curious, L.O.R.J. stands for: League Of Repetitive Jobs
TWO: The meeting was held at a Waffle House, because, quite frankly, that is where I wrote this story… at my local Waffle House… just me, some grease and my laptop. And of course my boyfriend for moral support (he orders a mean hot chocolate).
THREE: One of the member’s names, Jordan, is a shout out to our server at Waffle House. Thanks for clearing my plate just in time… and for the extra napkins.
Love & Squirrels.